2017 caught me off guard.
It’s the toughest year of my life yet. That is why I’ve been quiet. Lost track, just busy surviving, different sorts of emotional distraught here and there, too stressed that I got into cigarette smoking and drinking again, nothing seems to be falling into place, everything seems to be such a struggle, that most days I feel like I’ve forgotten how it feels like to be inspired, to enthusiastically go after something. But I’m trying to stay optimistic, I’m trying to see the good and not amplify the bad. It’s really difficult…
The hardest thing that hit me this year is my grandfather passing away. August 22nd, it was, not even two weeks ago, when liver cancer took him away from us. He passed away without me being able to fly home because I’m broke. He passed away surrounded by the family he built — loved, cared for, and respected. He passed away less than 48 hours after the release of my second poetry collection, Dreamers and Daydreams.
I still am not in the mood to celebrate its release. But I’m really proud of this one, it’s special. Dreamers and Daydreams is dedicated to my grandfather.
I don’t think my grandfather would want to see me like this though. I’d stop saying negative things, just like the things I said above. I’d stop repeating them in my head over and over until I start believing I’m depressed and that there’s no hope. I will keep my thoughts in check. I am alright.
In time, I’ll heal.